You claim this to be a light-hearted review of the subject, but it is probably the most complete account I’ve ever seen. Well done!
On a less positive note, it should be recorded that despite its central role in British society the biscuit has become a victim of that most pernicious marketing tool, shrinkflation. While the Wagon Wheel has most notoriously lost 50 per cent of its diameter over the years, even icons such as the Bourbon and the Custard Cream are mere shadows of their former selves. And the days are gone when a digestive was too wide to dunk in a mug of tea unbroken.
Wow! A dissertation on a culinary and critically, a cultural divide. Well done. You have earned your B.Sc. In Compatible and incompatible v tensile strength of baked goods plus a B.A. in Physical & Cultural Diversity within Former Colonies and Their Founding Hierarchies..
These posts are fast becoming a highlight of Sunday morning.
My favourite top tier biscuit is the dark chocolate covered hobnob, although a shortbread selection at Christmas is even better. There's also those biscuits where the chocolate layer is wider than the biscuit. Awesome.
Regular biscuit eating is a dark chocolate covered digestive. Supermarket brand are much cheaper: necessary given the rate the teenagers eat them.
Crime against biscuits: the pink wafer. This is effectively cardboard coated in sugar.
All this being said, I've had to minimise biscuit eating. I'm a church minister. If I accept every biscuit offered, it's a recipe for very tight clothes. One week I counted and was offered 18 biscuits in a professional capacity. Now I only accept if they are home made or it would be really rude not to.
I can imagine as a minister you have had a wide range of biscuits. I love that you counted how many biscuits you offered in one week in a professional capacity. That’s a fair amount for sure and I can see why you’d need to limit yourself.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and for reading! 😊
Whilst a commendable attempt, it's apparent to a Brit that it was written by a foreigner. No treatise on biscuits should be without an etymology which clearly proves Americans are wrong. From Latin and Old French, twice baked.
I'm surprised that your spouse knew what sausage gravy was. In my long years, I've never encountered such a thing, although the picture does show something a poorly cat might produce.
Your hierarchy of biscuits could be dissected at length, there are both complex regional and cultural differences, but I will say that Rich Tea plumbs the depths of budget biscuits and is offered to people you don't like. Personally, I will reject Ginger Nuts as inedible.
However, the chocolate bar section seems very wrong as I haven't heard of half of them. The go-to bar is the KitKat which isn't mentioned !
I was thinking the same thing. Missing the dead fly biscuit (garibaldi).
On arrival in the US it took a lot of getting used to the soft cookie. My natural instinct was to suggest it was stale. Dunking biscuits was never a thing in my family.
Correct! Alas, I live in Texas where Brit Biscuits are hard to procure. Bizarrely, the one affordable source I know is the Fiesta supermarket which mostly caters to a very blue-collar demographic but also imports goodies from Europe, so I stock up there from time to time.
Can’t abide Hob-Nobs at any price (ditto Jaffa cakes). When I worked, I insisted they buy Hob-Nobs for the office so I wasn’t tempted. Before I was pregnant I’d choose milk chocolate digestives - McVities are far better than supermarket own brands - but once pregnant found the dark chocolate ones far more palatable and never went back to milk chocolate.
Suggestion for next dissertation - pickles and chutney.
American biscuits aren’t at all sweet and the white sauce with sausage is savory. I know it sounds wrong to Brits, but if you ever find an American to make it for you, it is worth giving it a go.
I actually haven’t come across Abernathy biscuits yet, but will add them to my British biscuit bucket list. Thanks for sharing! 😊
Penguins (known as Tim Tams elsewhere in the Commonwealth) can be used as a straw. Make a hot chocolate. Nibble off diagonally opposite corners of the Penguin. Dip in the hot chocolate. Slurp. Now gobble up the chocolate-soaked chocolate biscuit before it disintegrates.
Worst biscuits- supermarket own brand digestives. They always have undisolved, gritty bits of sugar in. Favourite biscuits - McVitie's plain digestives, oatcakes (obviously I'm Scottish) and Simmers' butter biscuits - a north east of Scotland regional speciality https://www.rowies.scot/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=513). Biscuit of my childhood, which made its nightly appearance at 8.30 pm, buttered and topped with orange mousetrap cheese, along with a cup of tea, to stave off "night starvation".
Interesting. I and my army of supported (mostly older) people would not class Blue Riband, Gold bars. Penguin etc as biscuits. And would definitely include 2 bar Kit Kats as top of that list.
They do come out along with tea, but often preceded by a toast or cheese on toast snack. You would likely find many regional differences. And don’t think about the is toast better buttered hot or cold! We actually list preferences to avoid this debate on a daily basis. Current score numbered in people is 37 buttered cold, 31 buttered hot. Each considering the opposite to be unthinkable.
Question. If ‘scones’ are biscuits- what do Americans call actual scones (cream, jam or butter but never sauce or gravy) ?
Ah yes I did miss the Kit Kats, my bad. Those are some of my favorites as well.
I had no idea there was such strong preferences for buttering toast. Good to know. Thanks for sharing.
American do eat biscuits with jam and butter, not always with gravy. We don’t have the amazing clotted cream you do here in the UK.
We do have things called scones, but they are different than American biscuits and U.K. scones, kinda something in between. In Utah where I’m from, we call fry bread scones, so there’s an extra level of confusion. I’ll need to do another article 😊
Malted milk steps up a league when they are chocolate covered. But one of my favourite biscuits is Garibaldi (dead fly) biscuits - I have always loved them (happy childhood memories).
I’m going to need to try the chocolate covered Malted milk ones. Those sound lovely. I think I’ve had the Garibaldi biscuits before and liked them, but just figured out this evening why folks have been referring to them as dead fly biscuits. 😆
We still speak in our house of the Biscuits and Gravy ordered in a diner in Yosemite 20 years ago, on a holiday to California. We couldn't get through it, it looked like it was growing on the plate before our eyes.. 👀
This though has reminded me that I haven't seen an orange cream biscuit since...the 1980s? They were like a custard cream, but orange flavour, and I was rather fond of them as a kid. Current favourites are M&S dark chocolate digestives, which are, dare I say, nicer than the McVities ones *runs off and goes into hiding*
🤣 Your Yosemite biscuits and gravy story made me chuckle. I applaud you for giving them a go. Guess they're not for everyone. 😊
Ohh the orange cream biscuits sound like they would have been lovely. I will definitely give the M&S dark chocolate digestive a go. Thanks for sharing!
Excellent article. I noted you avoided confusion by steering clear of the British v American interpretation of “cracker”. In the UK this is a quite specific designation for a hard biscuit, usually eaten with cheese, but sometimes with a savoury spread such as Marmite (don’t even ask if you are American). The British term cracker can encompass various other plain savoury biscuits, such as Ryvita etc.
In my view, sweet biscuits are not suitable for eating cheese with, with the possible exception of specific cheese such as Wensleydale with Apricot.
In passing, there are various differences regionally in the UK as well as to the acceptability of things such as “dunking” of different types of biscuit.
Though do you remember BHS own brand oat biscuits? Rectangular and slightly sweet, and marvellous with strong cheddar. (Aware this may date me as someone who remembers not just BHS but the BHS foodhall)
I’ve been struggling with my weight, having got too heavy for my own good health, so biscuits had to go except as an occasional and exceptional treat. But when I was still eating them, I really loved it when I was offered those Fox’s ones that come six to a pack. Sort of shortbready while staying biscuits and rich with hazelnuts and chocolate chunks.
The worst biscuit is a Nice. There is nothing good about them. Indeed the joke that they are not nice at all is irresistible. The Rich Tea has its place. It’s an invalid’s biscuit- a first step back to food. An early morning ‘no, not food yet but perhaps a biscuit’ biscuit. It’s FABULOUS buttered, and good with cheese (and that’s perhaps the highest calling of the Digestive too.)
Excellent stuff again. 👏👏 Favourite biscuit - so tough, but I'm pretty sure you can't beat a bourbon. I love the way you can deconstruct a bourbon. There's a real skill in trying to bite off both the biscuit layers to leave the cream for last. I think it's impossible, but fun trying.
Also, big praise for American biscuits. When I was a student in Washington DC, I stumbled upon a Popeyes and my world changed forever. I *hate* that UK Popeyes have stopped selling biscuits.
You claim this to be a light-hearted review of the subject, but it is probably the most complete account I’ve ever seen. Well done!
On a less positive note, it should be recorded that despite its central role in British society the biscuit has become a victim of that most pernicious marketing tool, shrinkflation. While the Wagon Wheel has most notoriously lost 50 per cent of its diameter over the years, even icons such as the Bourbon and the Custard Cream are mere shadows of their former selves. And the days are gone when a digestive was too wide to dunk in a mug of tea unbroken.
Thank you for reading. Ah I hadn’t realized shrinkflation had hit biscuits. That’s a tragedy.
Wow! A dissertation on a culinary and critically, a cultural divide. Well done. You have earned your B.Sc. In Compatible and incompatible v tensile strength of baked goods plus a B.A. in Physical & Cultural Diversity within Former Colonies and Their Founding Hierarchies..
😊That’s probably one nicest comments I’ve received. Thank you.
These posts are fast becoming a highlight of Sunday morning.
My favourite top tier biscuit is the dark chocolate covered hobnob, although a shortbread selection at Christmas is even better. There's also those biscuits where the chocolate layer is wider than the biscuit. Awesome.
Regular biscuit eating is a dark chocolate covered digestive. Supermarket brand are much cheaper: necessary given the rate the teenagers eat them.
Crime against biscuits: the pink wafer. This is effectively cardboard coated in sugar.
All this being said, I've had to minimise biscuit eating. I'm a church minister. If I accept every biscuit offered, it's a recipe for very tight clothes. One week I counted and was offered 18 biscuits in a professional capacity. Now I only accept if they are home made or it would be really rude not to.
Might i humbly propose the mighty Caramel & Chocolate Hob-Knob - surely the Platinum Tier choice?
I’ve not tasted either of those yet, but those two seem to be highly rated. I’ve got them on my British biscuit bucket list for sure.
I can imagine as a minister you have had a wide range of biscuits. I love that you counted how many biscuits you offered in one week in a professional capacity. That’s a fair amount for sure and I can see why you’d need to limit yourself.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and for reading! 😊
Whilst a commendable attempt, it's apparent to a Brit that it was written by a foreigner. No treatise on biscuits should be without an etymology which clearly proves Americans are wrong. From Latin and Old French, twice baked.
I'm surprised that your spouse knew what sausage gravy was. In my long years, I've never encountered such a thing, although the picture does show something a poorly cat might produce.
Your hierarchy of biscuits could be dissected at length, there are both complex regional and cultural differences, but I will say that Rich Tea plumbs the depths of budget biscuits and is offered to people you don't like. Personally, I will reject Ginger Nuts as inedible.
However, the chocolate bar section seems very wrong as I haven't heard of half of them. The go-to bar is the KitKat which isn't mentioned !
I agree. Rich tea and ginger nuts are only for the direst emergencies (ie when nothing else is available).
Nota Bene. There are now vegan KitKat packs available.
What about the Garibaldi biscuit? How can you omit those? And Iced Gems.
Oh my bad. With so many different biscuit varieties I knew it was a risk I was going to miss out some core ones. Thanks for sharing!
You mean Dead Fly biscuits, surely?!
I was thinking the same thing. Missing the dead fly biscuit (garibaldi).
On arrival in the US it took a lot of getting used to the soft cookie. My natural instinct was to suggest it was stale. Dunking biscuits was never a thing in my family.
Correct! Alas, I live in Texas where Brit Biscuits are hard to procure. Bizarrely, the one affordable source I know is the Fiesta supermarket which mostly caters to a very blue-collar demographic but also imports goodies from Europe, so I stock up there from time to time.
Can’t abide Hob-Nobs at any price (ditto Jaffa cakes). When I worked, I insisted they buy Hob-Nobs for the office so I wasn’t tempted. Before I was pregnant I’d choose milk chocolate digestives - McVities are far better than supermarket own brands - but once pregnant found the dark chocolate ones far more palatable and never went back to milk chocolate.
Suggestion for next dissertation - pickles and chutney.
Same here on HobNobs. Like a mouthful of sweet chaff.
🤯. Not when dunked, surely?
I just can't get beyond the dry chaff to wet chaff 😂
Never get that far!
Oh very interesting. Ah I’ve made a note about the pickles and chutney. It’s in my list. Thank you for the suggestion! 😊
I live downwind of a biscuit factory. I’m pretty sure that enhances the resale value of my house.
I would think so 😋
Just the thought of scones and a white sauce with sausage makes me feel sick and Oreos are inedible so American preferences remain a mystery!
I love Abernethy biscuits which are not mentioned, worth seeking out
I was just going to mention them too. Fantastic biscuit and much cheaper than most others. Hard to find though.
Yes, Abernethy are absolutely my favourites too.
American biscuits aren’t at all sweet and the white sauce with sausage is savory. I know it sounds wrong to Brits, but if you ever find an American to make it for you, it is worth giving it a go.
I actually haven’t come across Abernathy biscuits yet, but will add them to my British biscuit bucket list. Thanks for sharing! 😊
Penguins (known as Tim Tams elsewhere in the Commonwealth) can be used as a straw. Make a hot chocolate. Nibble off diagonally opposite corners of the Penguin. Dip in the hot chocolate. Slurp. Now gobble up the chocolate-soaked chocolate biscuit before it disintegrates.
You're welcome.
I have experienced Tim Tams and Penguins and using them as a straw with hot chocolate. It is definitely one of my favorite things! Thanks for sharing!
Definitely worth having a go for those who haven’t tried it. 😊
Where has this been all my life? You are a genius!
I cannot take credit. I am merely passing on deep cultural wisdom that was shared with me.
Worst biscuits- supermarket own brand digestives. They always have undisolved, gritty bits of sugar in. Favourite biscuits - McVitie's plain digestives, oatcakes (obviously I'm Scottish) and Simmers' butter biscuits - a north east of Scotland regional speciality https://www.rowies.scot/index.php?route=product/product&product_id=513). Biscuit of my childhood, which made its nightly appearance at 8.30 pm, buttered and topped with orange mousetrap cheese, along with a cup of tea, to stave off "night starvation".
Ohh I'll look for Simmers' next time I'm in the area. Good tip! Sounds amazing with cheese. 😊
Interesting. I and my army of supported (mostly older) people would not class Blue Riband, Gold bars. Penguin etc as biscuits. And would definitely include 2 bar Kit Kats as top of that list.
They do come out along with tea, but often preceded by a toast or cheese on toast snack. You would likely find many regional differences. And don’t think about the is toast better buttered hot or cold! We actually list preferences to avoid this debate on a daily basis. Current score numbered in people is 37 buttered cold, 31 buttered hot. Each considering the opposite to be unthinkable.
Question. If ‘scones’ are biscuits- what do Americans call actual scones (cream, jam or butter but never sauce or gravy) ?
Ah yes I did miss the Kit Kats, my bad. Those are some of my favorites as well.
I had no idea there was such strong preferences for buttering toast. Good to know. Thanks for sharing.
American do eat biscuits with jam and butter, not always with gravy. We don’t have the amazing clotted cream you do here in the UK.
We do have things called scones, but they are different than American biscuits and U.K. scones, kinda something in between. In Utah where I’m from, we call fry bread scones, so there’s an extra level of confusion. I’ll need to do another article 😊
By “bread scones”, do you mean “dumplings”?
So for most of America, when you say scones, you'll see something like these: https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/scones-recipe/
In Utah and a few other western US states, when you say scones, you'll see what's also known as fry bread or Navajo fry bread. Here's a bit more info: https://www.deseret.com/2023/1/6/23391303/why-are-utah-scones-different
We have dumplings, but a few different variations: Here's what I first think of when I think of dumplings: http://www.katherinemartinelli.com/blog/2013/chicken-and-dumplings/
Malted milk steps up a league when they are chocolate covered. But one of my favourite biscuits is Garibaldi (dead fly) biscuits - I have always loved them (happy childhood memories).
I’m going to need to try the chocolate covered Malted milk ones. Those sound lovely. I think I’ve had the Garibaldi biscuits before and liked them, but just figured out this evening why folks have been referring to them as dead fly biscuits. 😆
My husband calls them squashed fly biscuits! I’m not sure our marriage can survive this!
Eww…that creates quite the mental image. 🤣
We still speak in our house of the Biscuits and Gravy ordered in a diner in Yosemite 20 years ago, on a holiday to California. We couldn't get through it, it looked like it was growing on the plate before our eyes.. 👀
This though has reminded me that I haven't seen an orange cream biscuit since...the 1980s? They were like a custard cream, but orange flavour, and I was rather fond of them as a kid. Current favourites are M&S dark chocolate digestives, which are, dare I say, nicer than the McVities ones *runs off and goes into hiding*
🤣 Your Yosemite biscuits and gravy story made me chuckle. I applaud you for giving them a go. Guess they're not for everyone. 😊
Ohh the orange cream biscuits sound like they would have been lovely. I will definitely give the M&S dark chocolate digestive a go. Thanks for sharing!
Excellent article. I noted you avoided confusion by steering clear of the British v American interpretation of “cracker”. In the UK this is a quite specific designation for a hard biscuit, usually eaten with cheese, but sometimes with a savoury spread such as Marmite (don’t even ask if you are American). The British term cracker can encompass various other plain savoury biscuits, such as Ryvita etc.
In my view, sweet biscuits are not suitable for eating cheese with, with the possible exception of specific cheese such as Wensleydale with Apricot.
In passing, there are various differences regionally in the UK as well as to the acceptability of things such as “dunking” of different types of biscuit.
I think crackers could be its own article, especially if we dip into cheese and or marmite. 😁
Thanks for reading and thanks for sharing.
Would love to hear your reflections on Marmite!
And it’s Australian cousin, Vegemite. Personally, having tried both (when in Rome, etc…), I’ll eat either.
I have tried Marmite and Vegemite and have a few thoughts I'll share in a future article. 😊
Though do you remember BHS own brand oat biscuits? Rectangular and slightly sweet, and marvellous with strong cheddar. (Aware this may date me as someone who remembers not just BHS but the BHS foodhall)
I’ve been struggling with my weight, having got too heavy for my own good health, so biscuits had to go except as an occasional and exceptional treat. But when I was still eating them, I really loved it when I was offered those Fox’s ones that come six to a pack. Sort of shortbready while staying biscuits and rich with hazelnuts and chocolate chunks.
The worst biscuit is a Nice. There is nothing good about them. Indeed the joke that they are not nice at all is irresistible. The Rich Tea has its place. It’s an invalid’s biscuit- a first step back to food. An early morning ‘no, not food yet but perhaps a biscuit’ biscuit. It’s FABULOUS buttered, and good with cheese (and that’s perhaps the highest calling of the Digestive too.)
My partner loves Rich Tea biscuits with butter. 😊
I remain suspicious but I’ll give it a go.
Excellent stuff again. 👏👏 Favourite biscuit - so tough, but I'm pretty sure you can't beat a bourbon. I love the way you can deconstruct a bourbon. There's a real skill in trying to bite off both the biscuit layers to leave the cream for last. I think it's impossible, but fun trying.
Also, big praise for American biscuits. When I was a student in Washington DC, I stumbled upon a Popeyes and my world changed forever. I *hate* that UK Popeyes have stopped selling biscuits.
I do love a bourbon. Ohh Popeyes does good biscuits. KFC is the US also do great American biscuits, but haven’t seen them sell them here in the UK.