As ever, Marianne, I much enjoyed reading your piece. Something I was taught as a youngster back in the early sixties is that if walking towards a woman, the polite thing for a man to do is to move to the side of the pavement nearest the traffic (so in the UK, adopting the move to the right approach). I still tend to do it, along with opening doors and, when sitting at tables to the side of a restaurant, having my back to the restaurant's centre so that a woman faces it. Oh, and giving up my seat on crowded buses if a woman is standing. I know all these things are of the past, not the done thing now and acknowledge the change in social norms, but also I recognise how such behaviour is still ingrained in me. Old dogs and new tricks, indeed.
Although regarding giving up my seat, I recall being on a bus in Italy not too many years ago and doing that for an older woman. The female partner of a much younger man and several others on the bus admonished the poor chap for not offering his seat to the woman in question. He eventually saved face by insisting I take his seat.
When I moved to the city in the 1970s, I soon learned to perfect what I called my London swerve. It was a manoeuvre an NFL running back would be proud of as they carved their way through a defence(s)e. Quickly cutting to the right or left and 'going for the gap' to avoid dawdling tourists and their propensity to move in any direction or even turn around on their heels without warning.
As for the British tendency to form orderly queues, I remember arriving at Naples (my favourite Italian City) railway station many decades ago to purchase a ticket. Before me was a melee of people clamouring to be the next to get to the ticket seller's window. I soon realised I would have to dispense with my British nature of waiting in line and thus dived into the morass of bodies. While I successfully obtained a ticket, it took me a few hours to overcome the trauma of throwing aside my British etiquette!
Thank you for sharing these wonderful reflections! Your comment adds such a fascinating layer to the conversation about cultural movement.
Your "London swerve" description made me laugh. I'm still working on developing my own version for navigating the tourist hotspots! It's remarkable how these movement skills become second nature once we've lived somewhere long enough.
The Naples train station story is brilliant. I've experienced that exact feeling of internal conflict in an airport in Nepal.
I find the generational aspects of movement etiquette particularly intriguing. While some of these customs and traditional etiquette have evolved, they reveal how our patterns of movement carry meanings that extend beyond simple efficiency; they are wrapped up in our understanding of social roles, respect, and community.
These small, everyday behaviors we rarely think about consciously tell such rich stories about who we are and where we come from.
Thanks again, Harry, for reading and for adding your experiences to the conversation!
Also any adult walking with a child walks between them and the traffic. But yes, I do expect men to take the side nearest the road, and actually most of them do.
Indeed Rosemary and I failed to mention that I was told when young that if walking beside a woman the courteous thing for a man is that they walk on the side nearest the traffic. Decades later I still do that. Old habits ....
That only works if traffic is on the left hand side of the pedestrians - the gentleman needs to be able to access his sword without disturbing the lady.*
Guess I am a man way out of date, Bren. I was told when young it was from a time when vehicles could splash mud or even catch the clothing of those nearest the roadside (which of course can still happen today). So it was the courteous thing for a man to ‘risk’ being on that side. I also was told the reason we drive on the left in the UK dates from horse drawn carriages and that given most drivers were right handed were less likely to strike a pedestrian with their whip. Of course the sword carrying could hold true too given its supposedly why we shake hands with our right hands (lefties can't catch a break with even the Romans believing that side to be ‘sinister’) and sword play was behind the decision as to how far apart the front benches should be in the House of Commons.
One exception to the general left-side preference is that when walking in a road without a pavement (I.e. when sharing the road with vehicles) I was taught to walk on the right of the road, so as to face oncoming traffic.
Great stuff. Only one comment. Do not stand on the left hand side of the escalator, as you know. You have experienced or heard sighs and tuts from those in a hurry. In London, a shove in the back is quite usual. 🤪
“… and roundabouts flow clockwise”. Not necessarily… I give you the “magic roundabouts” of Swindon, Hemel Hempstead, High Wycombe and Colchester - to name but four - a central roundabout surrounded by a series of mini roundabouts which can be circulated in both clockwise and anti-clockwise directions…
I really missed roundabouts when I lived in SoCal and remember visiting Sedona in AZ and being so surprised at coming across a “traffic circle” that I would circumnavigate it at every possible opportunity!
As a former commuter on the London Underground I cannot emphasise too strongly, please stand on the right, walk on the left when you use the escalator or at some stations the moving walkway. Not just at rush hours, because they really don’t exist anymore, all the time. And please hold the hand rails. If you’ve lots of luggage, the major interchanges have lifts, please use them if you’re nervous on the escalator. And lastly, when you get off the escalator, please don’t stop, keep walking, head for the map if you’re not sure where you need to go next.
The escalator stand right, move in the left seems to me to be exactly in tune with driving on the left! You move on the left hand side.
I have not noticed a directional preference in supermarkets though - it's always chaos and you move wherever you can get through. I do find though that there seems to be an inordinate number off people in supermarkets who behave as though they've never shopped before. This is even more noticeable in holiday places like Cornwall where you definitely see posh, rich people (you can always tell) who clearly have little experience of how shops work.
I have been told that in Poland the gentleman walks on the left in case any one jumps out of a doorway to attack the lady, but I don't know if that's correct or not.
The escalator/moving sidewalk thing always throws me when I visit the UK and I have to temporarily rewire my brain to walk on the left. In the US, I think of the "stand to the right" convention as mirroring driving patterns - slower traffic should drive on the righthand side of the road and the left side is the "passing lane". I'd expect that to be reversed in the UK, but instead the "passing lane" is different between driving and riding an escalator.
Sadly, the code of the escalator seems to dilute the further you get from London. In the North it seems not unusual - pass me the sal volatile - for people to stand side by side and chat.
The real issue, though, is people who get off the escalator and just stand there, blocking everybody (sometimes with added suitcases). I'm not a violent man, but I'm sorely tempted sometimes.
Harry touched on this, but there was also a convention that, when walking alongside a woman, the man would stay on the kerb side.
On the crisp subject, note that prawn flavoured and prawn flavour are not the same. I suspect the crisps you saw were prawn flavour. Any food item "flavoured" must contain that item (so actual prawns). Not so with something flavour. I'm vegetarian but quite like meat flavour crisps which contain no meat products.
As ever, Marianne, I much enjoyed reading your piece. Something I was taught as a youngster back in the early sixties is that if walking towards a woman, the polite thing for a man to do is to move to the side of the pavement nearest the traffic (so in the UK, adopting the move to the right approach). I still tend to do it, along with opening doors and, when sitting at tables to the side of a restaurant, having my back to the restaurant's centre so that a woman faces it. Oh, and giving up my seat on crowded buses if a woman is standing. I know all these things are of the past, not the done thing now and acknowledge the change in social norms, but also I recognise how such behaviour is still ingrained in me. Old dogs and new tricks, indeed.
Although regarding giving up my seat, I recall being on a bus in Italy not too many years ago and doing that for an older woman. The female partner of a much younger man and several others on the bus admonished the poor chap for not offering his seat to the woman in question. He eventually saved face by insisting I take his seat.
When I moved to the city in the 1970s, I soon learned to perfect what I called my London swerve. It was a manoeuvre an NFL running back would be proud of as they carved their way through a defence(s)e. Quickly cutting to the right or left and 'going for the gap' to avoid dawdling tourists and their propensity to move in any direction or even turn around on their heels without warning.
As for the British tendency to form orderly queues, I remember arriving at Naples (my favourite Italian City) railway station many decades ago to purchase a ticket. Before me was a melee of people clamouring to be the next to get to the ticket seller's window. I soon realised I would have to dispense with my British nature of waiting in line and thus dived into the morass of bodies. While I successfully obtained a ticket, it took me a few hours to overcome the trauma of throwing aside my British etiquette!
Thank you for sharing these wonderful reflections! Your comment adds such a fascinating layer to the conversation about cultural movement.
Your "London swerve" description made me laugh. I'm still working on developing my own version for navigating the tourist hotspots! It's remarkable how these movement skills become second nature once we've lived somewhere long enough.
The Naples train station story is brilliant. I've experienced that exact feeling of internal conflict in an airport in Nepal.
I find the generational aspects of movement etiquette particularly intriguing. While some of these customs and traditional etiquette have evolved, they reveal how our patterns of movement carry meanings that extend beyond simple efficiency; they are wrapped up in our understanding of social roles, respect, and community.
These small, everyday behaviors we rarely think about consciously tell such rich stories about who we are and where we come from.
Thanks again, Harry, for reading and for adding your experiences to the conversation!
No worries Marianne, or as we say in Geordie ‘nee botha’! Good luck with that swerve… 😉
Also any adult walking with a child walks between them and the traffic. But yes, I do expect men to take the side nearest the road, and actually most of them do.
Indeed Rosemary and I failed to mention that I was told when young that if walking beside a woman the courteous thing for a man is that they walk on the side nearest the traffic. Decades later I still do that. Old habits ....
That only works if traffic is on the left hand side of the pedestrians - the gentleman needs to be able to access his sword without disturbing the lady.*
That's how dated it is.
*And that's not a euphemism.
Guess I am a man way out of date, Bren. I was told when young it was from a time when vehicles could splash mud or even catch the clothing of those nearest the roadside (which of course can still happen today). So it was the courteous thing for a man to ‘risk’ being on that side. I also was told the reason we drive on the left in the UK dates from horse drawn carriages and that given most drivers were right handed were less likely to strike a pedestrian with their whip. Of course the sword carrying could hold true too given its supposedly why we shake hands with our right hands (lefties can't catch a break with even the Romans believing that side to be ‘sinister’) and sword play was behind the decision as to how far apart the front benches should be in the House of Commons.
With anything that's convention, it's difficult to pin it down.
Anyway, as we know have equality (sort of), women may share the risk.
Indeed...
But I think the door rule changed about 1980/90 and it is that the first to a door holds it open for the rest of the party.
Yep, that's what I follow these days. And I am clearly showing my age as increasingly on a busy bus I find young women offering me their seat!
One exception to the general left-side preference is that when walking in a road without a pavement (I.e. when sharing the road with vehicles) I was taught to walk on the right of the road, so as to face oncoming traffic.
I think it starts in school where pupils are told to keep to the left in corridors.
Great stuff. Only one comment. Do not stand on the left hand side of the escalator, as you know. You have experienced or heard sighs and tuts from those in a hurry. In London, a shove in the back is quite usual. 🤪
“… and roundabouts flow clockwise”. Not necessarily… I give you the “magic roundabouts” of Swindon, Hemel Hempstead, High Wycombe and Colchester - to name but four - a central roundabout surrounded by a series of mini roundabouts which can be circulated in both clockwise and anti-clockwise directions…
I really missed roundabouts when I lived in SoCal and remember visiting Sedona in AZ and being so surprised at coming across a “traffic circle” that I would circumnavigate it at every possible opportunity!
As a former commuter on the London Underground I cannot emphasise too strongly, please stand on the right, walk on the left when you use the escalator or at some stations the moving walkway. Not just at rush hours, because they really don’t exist anymore, all the time. And please hold the hand rails. If you’ve lots of luggage, the major interchanges have lifts, please use them if you’re nervous on the escalator. And lastly, when you get off the escalator, please don’t stop, keep walking, head for the map if you’re not sure where you need to go next.
The escalator stand right, move in the left seems to me to be exactly in tune with driving on the left! You move on the left hand side.
I have not noticed a directional preference in supermarkets though - it's always chaos and you move wherever you can get through. I do find though that there seems to be an inordinate number off people in supermarkets who behave as though they've never shopped before. This is even more noticeable in holiday places like Cornwall where you definitely see posh, rich people (you can always tell) who clearly have little experience of how shops work.
I have been told that in Poland the gentleman walks on the left in case any one jumps out of a doorway to attack the lady, but I don't know if that's correct or not.
The escalator/moving sidewalk thing always throws me when I visit the UK and I have to temporarily rewire my brain to walk on the left. In the US, I think of the "stand to the right" convention as mirroring driving patterns - slower traffic should drive on the righthand side of the road and the left side is the "passing lane". I'd expect that to be reversed in the UK, but instead the "passing lane" is different between driving and riding an escalator.
Fun read, as always!
Sadly, the code of the escalator seems to dilute the further you get from London. In the North it seems not unusual - pass me the sal volatile - for people to stand side by side and chat.
The real issue, though, is people who get off the escalator and just stand there, blocking everybody (sometimes with added suitcases). I'm not a violent man, but I'm sorely tempted sometimes.
Harry touched on this, but there was also a convention that, when walking alongside a woman, the man would stay on the kerb side.
On the crisp subject, note that prawn flavoured and prawn flavour are not the same. I suspect the crisps you saw were prawn flavour. Any food item "flavoured" must contain that item (so actual prawns). Not so with something flavour. I'm vegetarian but quite like meat flavour crisps which contain no meat products.
Oh I hadn't realized the difference between the two. That's good to know. Thank you for sharing.
Americans probably interpret "Keep Left" as an invitation to socialism, of which they have a cultural horror. 😄